Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Gloria and Mary


As part of writing, the Rainbows group were given a task to write a paragraph about a volcano in pairs. This is what Gloria and Mary came up with.

We took one sentence and decided to deconstruct it as whole class.

A magma came out of the volcano and make the big ash come out of the volcano and the magma looks like a river.

Can you see what is wrong with this sentence?

After deconstructing this sentence with the class. Here is what we came up with.

Magma comes out and makes a big cloud of ash and it looks like a river.

2 comments:

Pt England Scribes said...

Hi Room 10 we deconstructed your paragraph too! Here's is what we came up with...

Heaps of lava spewed out of the volcano! Poisonous ash came out of the volcano. The lava looks like a red, orange and yellow river. It might kill you!

We hope you'll do some more decontructing.

Room 11

Manaiakalani said...

Hi Room 10,

I have really enjoyed reading all about your writing lesson here. I feel like I was part of it too. Well done to all of you.

And as for Room 11.... how cool is that! They have been very clever deconstructing YOUR sentence. I don't think I could come up with something as good as that!

Keep up the fabulous work.

Mrs Burt